Monday, January 9, 2012

Confessions of a Mom ...

It's possible that you may not know that Jonathan rarely stops talking.    At first glance, he is not the most obvious choice of the non-stop talker.  He's not the most outgoing, nor the most intellectual, nor is he the most cuddly of my 4 children ... however ... he is the most energetic of the 4.  Perhaps that is why he talks so much.  He stays in his room each morning until he hears me rattling around in the kitchen, and his talking starts before he is even half-way down the stairs.  I am convinced that he starts thinking about what he is going to say long before he sees me, and he starts talking to me as soon as he sees me.  It's probably worthwhile to mention that he was almost 2 years old before he said his first word.  We used to wonder if he was ever going to talk.  Now, it's quite the opposite.

So, here is my confession.
I often think to myself:  "Jonathan, please stop talking. You have said 2000 more words than you needed to say" - and then I think more emphatically - "JUST STOP TALKING - I CAN'T TAKE IT ONE MORE SECOND!"
Then, when I hear Rich chuckling in the background, I realize that ... I actually said it out loud.

Consider this sentence:  I need water.  It's short, concise, and it's all you need to know, right?  Jonathan may mean that he needs water, but 3 words is not enough for him.  He will say that very same thing using about 100 words.  Once he gets to the end of whatever it is he is saying ... I most often don't have any idea what he means anymore.  The danger that I fall into is that I can easily become disengaged and not hear him at all anymore.  Jonathan loves to talk.  He loves to be heard.  I have to make special time for him to be heard.  I need to teach him to talk and be heard appropriately.  It may seem to me and others that I am always in the "training room".  Well, indeed I am always in that "training room" in this season of my life!

I imagine that I am not alone in this.  In fact, I think it's more common than one would think.  I bet that you have a talker like this in your family.  If you don't, I am sure you have a confession of another sort that I would love to hear.  So, this is your chance to leave me with your confession in the comment section of this post and I will pray for you.   Being a Mom is hard work.  Being a Mom who desires more than anything else to capture my child's heart for Jesus and point them to a fully devoted relationship with the Lord and Savior can at times seem insurmountable ... especially in light of my own lack of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control that creeps up at times. My desire is to be a woman who encourages other moms with the following scripture:

Galations 6:9
9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

How can I pray for you? 


  1. I hear ya! Though not on a daily basis, but I have experienced what you are going through.
    When faced with that situation I have come down to my children's eye level and asked them to basically get to the point. Sometimes even giving them the words to say and not allowing anymore words if it was a simple question (can I have water?).

    I had one friend who confessed to me that she knew she talked too much but that she was working on it. Well, I was hardly ever able to get a word in while talking with her (rather listening to her) and I was sad to see her daughter turning out the same way. Eliana was little at the time, but I took this to heart and really wanted to make sure I taught my children to not be selfish with talking and to think of others.

    Teaching Jonathan to simply say "may I please have water?" is a way for him to show respect to you. And one way to learn self control. We all know that learning self control is hard.

    We have our own struggles here. Mosty with little Penn who thinks he does not have to obey...ever. Talk about a little boy with almost no self control! This is our daily battle.

  2. Thanks for sharing, Janet. I will join you in praying for your daily battle. Listening really is a skill that will come naturally for some - but for others is something that needs to be taught. I love what you said about teaching your children not to be selfish with talking. It's so true! We should all work hard to think of others first ... even if it's just a conversation!

  3. I could have written this myself. Subbing in "Keaton" for "Jonathan". Oh my word. And the same, "I need water mom because my cup is empty and I got thirsty when I was playing outside and I drank the water that was in my cup, and I need more ice too because that melted in my cup before I drank the water...."

    "Keaton, what do you want?" (Why don't I know? I kind of stopped listening after, "I need water.") mom fail.

    It's no secret in our family that I use just enough words to get my point across without sounding like a neanderthal. ;) Keaton's wordiness (which he gets honest from his daddy) is such a part of his little personality - and I need to embrace that, as well as use that chance to not get frustrated and say, "I don't need a story, I need to know what you want..." and help him learn how to appropriately ask for what he needs (or tell his story without 5,000 words...or whatever!) :)

    ...patience. ahem. :)

  4. Larissa,
    I have one very incessant talker as well! Also, a boy. I have wondered about those stats that say females speak so much more than males. Is it simply that boys get their words out in childhood?? I don't know, but it is definitely an exhausting challenge as you said.

    I do find myself tuning him out at times, and cutting him off of a thousand word paragraph about the status of our trash can. But I try to keep up reading books and posts by Sally Clarkson that constantly remind me the importance of building relationship with my children. That and praying for patience!

    Nice post, Larissa.

  5. How funny! In Cubbies, we have to pull out the words from him :)

    Love your confession and I too have a talker! I love the reference that Heather made to Sally Clarkson and building relationships through communication with our kids. What a great reminder!

    I have been praying that God would just allow me to PURE ENJOYMENT from being with my kids and POURING myself into them. It is hard work. I'm praying for you too friend!

    Love ya!

  6. I love this post and know there are plenty of mommies out there who can relate! It is beautifully written and heartfelt. Our Nick was the great debater. Every request I made of him was followed by a great debate. Sometimes I just said, "please just do as I ask and save the debate for when you become a lawyer and do it for a living!" He doesn't want to be an attorney, but boy he still uses logic to debate why or why not he should do something and he is 25! Think Jonathan will be talking for awhile...sure do love that boy!

  7. Ryland is EXACTLY the same way!!! As I type this, he is copying everything the tv is saying. We play the "quiet game" almost daily when I can't take anymore. LOL Ryland started preschool this year half a day Monday-Friday so that has helped me greatly! I thought I might go crazy last school year! I have also caught myself tuning him out and Braden does it also. Ryland will continue to ask the question over and over though until he is answered so finally after about the fifth time, I will say "Braden, will you PLEASE answer your brother??" LOL He usually responds with "Huh, I didn't hear him ask me anything". LOL

  8. I LOVE to hear Jonathan talk!