We have been in Virginia with my Mom and Dad for the past 2 weeks now. We will finally get to be reunited with Rich on Wednesday, and we will all return home after spending Thanksgiving here with Mom and Dad. Rich had a ton of work to do as well as a paper to write, so we decided to bring the craziness of our busy family up to Virginia, so that he could have a quiet place to work.
We have been operating just like we would at home, though. School has gone on as normal, just as if we were at home. I have still been making all of our meals for the most part, and even loaves of bread here and there.
The children have adapted well for the most part. Jonathan has had the hardest time with it of the 4 children. The first week that we were here was spent with him testing me at every turn. It occurred to me that Jonathan has only ever known a life that includes Daddy being at home 24/7. While Jonathan has been enormously more difficult than my other two boys, I've always had Rich at home to sweep in and rescue me if Jonathan ever got difficult. If Jonathan ever started to tantrum, Rich would nip it right in the bud. How does he do that? I have no idea. He just tells Jonathan to stop - and Jonathan stops.
So, we get here to Virginia, settle in, and the tantrums begin. It was probably the biggest test of my entire mothering career. I had no backup. I had no one to come and bail me out. It was me against him. I will admit that many times I wanted to just back down and let Jonathan win. It would be so much easier, right? He'd stop screaming his head off and then we could move on to the next thing. We all know that is not really true. If I'd let him win, he would have thrown another tantrum the next time something didn't go quite right and it would start all over again. So, I did not give in - and he lost each time he tried. The last tantrum that he threw was about 9 days ago. He screamed and cried for close to 25 minutes. I wanted to scoop him up and comfort him, instead of standing my ground. . . but thankfully, I had my mom in my corner telling me, "don't give in to that child - don't let him win!" And I held out - I won that battle, and mostly think I won the war. He responds in a completely different way to me than he did 2 1/2 weeks ago. He has learned that I am not going to give in and that he has to obey me just the same as he has to obey his father. He still will begin to throw a fit, but has learned how to stop himself, calm himself down, and reason through whatever it is that is bothering him. WOW! What a huge change has come over him in only 2 weeks. I think this was a wonderful breakthrough. The real test will come when we get back at home. Hopefully, Rich won't have to come out of his work cave to bail me out anymore!
I am so thankful for Rich. I miss him. Our children miss him. We can't wait for him to meet us here in Virginia on Wednesday. While we needed to make this trip to Virginia, it has been hard on us all to be apart. I am also thankful for my Mom and Dad. It's no small favor to keep us for 3 weeks! Rich has had the quiet he's needed to get everything done, but we've brought all of our noise here for my Mom and Dad to endure! So, I am thankful that they are so gracious and inviting toward us.
I've been wondering how you've been doing in VA. Wow - what a breakthrough with Jonathan! Tell me, did you do anything else to break him? Little Penn sounds just like him and I'm tired of it. I did win one battle today when I put him in his room. When he was done screaming he put himself under the blankets and was going to fall asleep when I got him.
ReplyDeleteIt's promissing to hear about your progress and gives me hope.
How's Rolalie been sleeping? Any better?
Rosalie has been sleeping much better, thanks! I've been putting her to bed at about 7PM and she wakes up at about 5:30 AM. I can handle that!
ReplyDeleteI pretty much just did what I said above. I made him understand very clearly that he wasn't going to get his way, and I stood my ground. He already knows that with Rich, so he had to learn that he couldn't do it with me either.
Also, just to give you a little hope - I really think that his age is helping a little too. He seems to be developing the ability to reason through things alot better. He's beginning to understand the concept of choices and consequences - and that has been a huge help!